Often when we are relaxing we start our Saturday morning watching Saturday Kitchen Live on the telly. We love the live recipes and the old food films, plus James Martin is a great host.
There are always two guest celebrity chefs invited to cook one of their recipes live on the show. This specific weekend there was a first time visitor and “new face on the scene” Florence Knight.
The returning chef cooked his dish essentially fish on a soup or stew base. Perfect. Florence cooked two meals. Clearly putting herself under even more pressure.
…wondered. Was one dish too easy or not good enough? If so just pick a different dish! Was it some small ‘tell’ that she was nervous, lacking confidence, uncertain of her first appearance on television?
It reminded me of comments made at the Professional Speakers Association event I recently attended. They said don’t start your talk with hello my name is and thank you for inviting me… Start with something of value to the audience, something to grab their attention.
Why? Because you have been invited, you must be expert enough in your field to warrant your invitation! The host should have said your name ….and unless you have an unpronounceable name like Wusche (Whoosh-ay) people can also read it on the introduction and website materials.
If you are confident you don’t need to reinforce, remind or over compensate. The audience will spot it a mile off.
As I stared to notice this ‘topic’ more and more, I started to have this conversation with my fellow female entrepreneurs and business friends. I noticed a specific male speaker had not changed his talk for at least eighteen months. I could actually deliver the talk myself I had heard it so much! Why is that. Lack of care. Lack of time. Lack of interest? Arrogance, confidence, ignorance? I don’t know I have not asked … Yet.
Female speakers, myself included, will change every talk making it either subtly different or completely different. I know I make my talks specific to the audience, linked to the person who spoke before me, and then mildly ad-libbed around my central topic.
Why? Because in each audience there is at least one person that has heard me speak before and I want them to get value from their evening?
I also regularly attend a full day business event. Like the male speaker I mentioned earlier, the content is very similar. There is the host that usually follows an outline/script around which there is a degree of ad-lib. There are guest speakers who similarly follow a rough script. Then there are new guests with new case studies. So probably 70-80% is familiar. Why do I go because I always hear something new, and often something I had forgotten!
So why do some people, myself included, give new and different talks, products, events, recipes? Is it lack of confidence? Over compensation? A ‘female thing’?
Do you do it? Did you know you did it? Do you know why you do it?
If you are over-compensating … Just stop it! If it’s a lack of confidence… get over it or get help! If it does turn out to be a ‘female thing’ then STOP THAT TOO!!!